What is narcissistic abuse?

It’s not just ego. It’s control. Narcissistic abuse often starts with love bombing — over-the-top attention and promises — then turns into manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional harm. It makes you question reality. If someone makes you feel “crazy,” it’s worth paying attention.

What is Stockholm Syndrome — and did you really have it after just three weeks?

Yes. A licensed therapist diagnosed me with Stockholm Syndrome after only three weeks with my abuser.
It happens faster than people think. Stockholm Syndrome is when a victim forms a trauma bond with the person who hurts them — often as a survival mechanism. You start to care about them, protect them, and explain away their behavior, even when you’re terrified. It’s not weakness. It’s psychology. And it happened to me. It happens to a lot of women and they don’t even realize it.

What is triangulation in abuse?

It’s when an abuser pits people against each other to stay in control. My abuser did this constantly — telling one woman lies about another, creating jealousy, chaos, and mistrust so we wouldn’t compare notes or team up. Once I recognized the pattern, everything made more sense.

Why do victims go back?

Because trauma rewires your brain to see survival as love. Abusers are often charming and manipulative. They cry. They apologize. They say all the right things. Add in fear, financial control, isolation, or kids — and leaving becomes incredibly hard. Judging survivors helps no one. Listening helps a lot.

Can abuse cause PTSD?

Absolutely. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder isn’t just something soldiers get. Abuse survivors — especially those who experience fear, control, or physical violence — can develop PTSD, too. It shows up in nightmares, triggers, panic, avoidance, memory gaps, hyper-vigilance, and shame. You can’t always see it on the outside, but it rewires everything.

How did PTSD show up for you?

In ways I didn’t even recognize at first. I had nightmares, random flashbacks, anxiety attacks, and periods where I felt completely numb. I jumped at loud noises, avoided certain places, and blamed myself constantly. Sometimes it felt like I was outside my own body, just trying to function. Therapy helped — but so did writing Wildfire.

Can you heal from PTSD caused by abuse?

Yes — but healing doesn’t mean forgetting. I’m not “over it.” But I’m not stuck in it anymore either. Healing looks like learning to breathe again. It looks like setting boundaries, sleeping through the night, or writing the book they tried to stop. It’s slow. It’s non-linear. But it’s possible.

How can I support someone going through this?

Believe them. Don’t push. Don’t ask “why didn’t you just leave?” Ask “how can I help?” Let them set the pace. Let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready — and mean it.

What should I do if I think I’m in an abusive relationship?

Start quietly gathering support. Talk to someone safe. Document things if you can. Kno

w that you’re not weak for staying — and not dramatic for leaving. Abuse thrives in silence. You don’t have to stay quiet. For hotlines, view Survivor Resources.