Survivor Stories: J.G.

Because no one should have to scream into the void.

My ex abused me for five years and nearly killed me more times than I can count. He strangled me while I held our 18-month-old baby in my arms. I finally escaped with my life, my child’s life, and a few clothes. That was it.

In 2020, a judge in Tulsa County went against the recommendations of DHS and the Juvenile DA — both of whom had said I should retain sole permanent custody — and gave my baby to this man. He has kept my child from me ever since the day they ripped him from my arms.

Before that, he’d been on supervised visitation the entire time and had never kept regular visits. He made countless false claims to DHS, and every single time I was cleared. Then, out of nowhere, I got a call while at work saying there had been an Emergency Ex Parte hearing that very day. I wasn’t allowed to be there. He claimed I was giving my son cannabis — completely absurd.

My lawyer told me not to panic because the law required a show cause hearing within ten days. That hearing never happened. Instead, my child was handed to the most terrifying, manipulative person I’ve ever met. I’ve spent thousands trying to get him back. The original judge was later removed from the bench — quietly — so her cases wouldn’t be reviewed.

I work seven days a week. I’ve maxed out every resource I have. I’ve been to court more times than I can count, but every time it feels like the system is protecting him.

I’ve tried to tell my story — even posting on TikTok to raise awareness — but the courts used it against me. I was told my “little TikTok stunts” only made me look bitter, like I was “grasping for straws.” Now I’m actually being prosecuted for a Facebook comment from six years ago. Back then, he had posted pictures of my son while playing the victim. I told him to take them down or I’d post the bruises, black eyes, and threatening messages so people would know exactly why he lost his family. They say that violated a protective order — an order I still don’t understand how he got in the first place.

Meanwhile, he’s violated my protective order over and over. I’ve reported every violation. Nothing was done. But now they want to come after me — six years later — for a Facebook comment.

It’s infuriating. I am so angry. I don’t think I have any tears left. At this point, if I don’t laugh, I’ll lose it entirely.

I will never stop fighting for my child. I didn’t do anything to deserve this — I just didn’t want to be beaten in front of my baby. I didn’t want to die in front of him. And I didn’t want him to grow up believing this is how we treat women.

The system is not designed to protect domestic violence survivors. But I will keep going. For him. Always. - JG